Crazy Cramer And Kookoo Kudlow Hatch Coronavirus War Bond Goose Egg

Ron Insana, whom I’ve always thought was well named due to the funny way his brain works and the way he smiles even when nothing is happening, has just melded minds with Kudlow & Cramer to support a coronavirus war bond:

My colleague, Jim Cramer, made a very interesting recommendation Monday morning, calling on the U.S. Treasury to issue a $1 trillion, 30-year “war bond” to finance our battle against the coronavirus. He pitched the idea on CNBC to Larry Kudlow, who chairs the White House National Economic Council

I think Ron even smiles in his sleep.

The triumvirate of capital talent

Together, these three birds of a feather make quite the triumvirate of talent because I’ve also always thought of Crazy Cramer and Krackhead Kudlow (yes, it’s well known he’s used the stuff) as the Keystone Cops of Commerce.

When I used to see Larry Kudlow smoking crack on our block late at night (true story) I would say to myself, ‘I’ll bet that guy will be drunk on tv someday lying about the spread of a pandemic for the reality star who pretended to be a billionaire. @realDonaldTrump

— NoelCaslerComedy (@CaslerNoel) March 7, 2020

Lunatic Larry, of course, was also a co-creator of all three trickle-down tax plans (Reagan, Bush, and now Trump) that didn’t trickle and that never quite paid for themselves as Larry has promised each time they would. (Corporate taxes under Trickle Down Trump have brought in about half as much corporate tax revenue as they were bringing just before the cuts became law. The shortfall has been made up by tariffs and increases in personal taxes while the increase in the deficit is due almost entirely to the Republican increase in government spending.)

Krafty Kudlow is also the shimmering seer of dim glances into the future who stated during each of the last two major recessions (and just before the present one) that he saw no recession anywhere on the horizon and that stocks and the economy had nowhere to go but up! Shortly thereafter, recessions were officially declared to have begun before Larry gave his foundering forecasts, and stock markets crashed all over the world.

Larry’s greatness at predicting showed again when he claimed the US had “contained” the coronavirus when it first entered America and then later justified his error by saying no one could have foreseen the dramatic surge of coronavirus the US has experienced … never mind the whole world had just witnessed the monumental efforts necessary to contain the virus in China. Clearly expecting a great prophet to foresee from China’s economic catastrophe what would happen in the US is expecting a lot.

Well, on Monday, Larry was on the TV with his old co-host Jim Cramer when Jimbo popped him the big idea of the US issuing a trillion-dollar coronavirus war bond at 1.5% interest with a thirty-year maturity date. Larry thought this was swell and promised to share the concept with President Trump as soon as he got back to the White House.

I am all for it. This would be a longterm investment into the future of American health, safety and the economy…. I think the concept is exactly right. I think it’s exactly right!

Who’s buying a coronavirus war bond?

Well, I mean, whose’ buying it besides Ron Insana, who thinks it’s a sane idea? Let us think a little further than these fine-feathered friends.

During World War I and then WWII, war bonds were a way to get American citizens to fund the government’s essential war debt based on patriotism. (That was before the government had the Federal Reserve as its Financier of First Choice.)

Liberty War Bonds Ad | Source: National Archives at College Park / Public domain

Today, with Americans, themselves, and businesses all over America being the ones who need the money the “coronavirus war bond” will raise, who exactly is going to buy these bonds? Are US corporations and small businesses going to buy the bonds in order to provide money to the government for the government to bail them out?

Are Americans without paychecks going to run out and buy coronavirus war bonds so the government can send them stimulus checks? Are other nations who are facing their own great coronavirus debt going to run out and buy them just to help us out, instead of tending to their own coronacrisis debt problems?

I have my own colorful idea

Now that the US is piling up debt in the amount of, at least, $4 trillion per year, maybe we do need to go to with themed bond sales to make our debt more appealing. I’m thinking strawberry-flavored bon bonds would be nice. Chocolate … vanilla … green tea???

During your shelter-in-place DOWNTIME, enjoy more humor and a little thought about past grandiose goose-egg ideas used to get us out of recession (and right back into it).

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